Fiona's Journal
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[Immanion Press]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "fionamcgavin" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
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08:25 pm
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The recession strikes
It's been ages since I posted. This is entirely due to my own laziness and the fact that I haven't done anything interesting - at least not in real life. Lots of interesting things happening in my imagination though. I just need to get them down on paper.
The good(ish) news is that I've become a victim of the recession and have parted company with the bank - I've got 10 weeks garden leave while they're still paying me so I should be able to get loads of writing done without having to waste time thinking about a job I didn't particularly like anyway. The bad news is that every time I turn on the TV or pick up a paper there's a story about rising unemployment and mortgage repossessions. I'm trying not to think about it, but at the back of my mind there's the niggling fear that I'll never work again and end up living in a bus shelter eating meat pies out of tins and drinking cider and grunting at passers by in my own language because I've completely forgotten what normal human interaction is. It's a worry (especially the meat pies as I'm a vegetarian) but then again, I could get a dog on a string to keep me company which would be good. I could always eat it if times got really hard. Or it could eat me...
But on the plus side, I think having to move out of my comfort zone has spurred my mind into creative overdrive - it should be thinking about creative job search strategies but instead it's thinking about vampires, demons and the apocalypse. I think I'm gearing up to write something involving all 3. A vampire novel seems inevitable somehow - everyone else seems to be at it.
I'm also on draft 3 or maybe 4 of the novel. Can't remember if I mentioned its title - Silverlight. It's become massive - pushing 500 pages though that's double spaced and around 160,000 words which is bigger than any novel I've written before. I've got a good, buzzy feeling about it and I think it's getting to the stage where I'm going to have to decide that it's finished and what to do with it next. Of course, there's always the possibility that I've written a big pile of nonsense, but I've had more fun writing it than I've had writing anything else and that's surely more important than anything else.
Immanion Press are reissuing A Dream and a Lie later this year as one big fat omnibus edition. I'm quite excited about it as I originally wrote it to be one book. It also gives me a chance to look at it again tweek it very slightly. There were a couple of proofing errors that made me cringe the first time round. Also looking forward to seeing what they do with the cover this time round.
No snails yet - I expect they're on their way.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood:  creative
Current Music: Polly Scattergood
Tags: job hunting; silverlight; dream and a li
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03:26 pm
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Only happy when it rains
I'm so glad summer is finished and it's getting colder and darker again. I think I'm the only person who's enjoyed this wash-out of a summer (though slightly disappointed it wasn't more of a wash-out, despite living on a flood plain). I'm also enjoying the credit crunch far more than anyone else seems to be, if only because I didn't have any money to start with and of course, as I work for a bank, there's always the distant hope of redundancy and a few months gardening leave.
I've been writing like a mad man but I don't appear to be getting anywhere very fast. I don't know what's happened to the days when I used to sit down at the computer at 9 am and not get up again until 5 pm. The book's got an official title now - Silverlight - and a list of contents as well as a beginning and an end and it's about 500 pages long so far, so I guess it's got a middle as well. Hopefully, it'll be finished before too much longer. I've even started thinking about a website for it though I'm so technologically backward, I haven't a clue how to go about doing this.
Anyway, the book is a kind of angels, demons and impending apocalypse type of thing. It's also got a magic mirror, a dead serial killer, some psychopathic nuns and a big nasty dog in it as well as a narrator who watches far too much reality TV (not at all like me!). It's been great fun to write, if only because I didn't really take it very seriously when I started it as I was in the process of getting A Dream and A Lie published so wasn't thinking seriously about anything else. I'm pretty proud of it so far, though it still needs a lot of work.
In autumn my house always starts to resemble the insect house of a zoo. This year I've had giant snails deciding that my front door is the best place in the world to be (why? why? why? I don't see them crawling all over everyone else's doors. I swear they're trying to come through the letterbox and get me) and the biggest spider in the world took up residence on my sofa (think Shelob, or the Weaver from Perdido Street Station and then double the size, think of me (all five foot of me) bravely evicting it unharmed with only a glass and a spatula to help me. Truly, I deserve a medal). Perhaps there's a problem with my housekeeping and I should actually clean the place.
I've had a couple of sleepless nights recently and tried to keep myself from worrying about stupid things by compiling my top five lists of various things (music, food, animals etc). I was trying to think of my five favourite books but could only come up with four - "The Secret History" by Donna Tartt, "The Vintners Luck" by Elizabeth Knox, "Oyster" by Janet Turner Hospital and "The Line of Beauty" by Alan Hollinghurst. All very different, but I couldn't think of number 5 so I guess thinking about this will keep my mind occupied for days now. Perhaps I've yet to read number 5.
War and Peace, however, definitely didn't make the list and has gone to the Oxfam bag... Life's too short to struggle past page 84. Plainly, I have no staying power.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: GetWell Soon
Tags: writing; silverlight; spiders; snails; b
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12:31 pm
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War and Peace
I've reached page 84 of War and Peace. That's 12 pages in 6 months. Truly, an acheivement to be proud of.
Also, it's about 6 months since I last posted. Have been on major Write-a-thon and very excited, though suspect what I'm writing is unpublishable and quite possibly drivel, though enjoyable for me writing it, if not for anyone reading it.
So what with reading such vast amounts of W&P and writing (approx 500 pages!!!)and a spot of editing for IP (Eternal Vigilance by Gabrielle Faust - v. good, and I'm not just saying that because I edited it), life has been dull and not worth writing about.
But I see the evil snails are back, so perhaps things will get interesting in an apocalyptic, snails with guns (and possibly nuclear technology and jet-packs) type of way. Thank goodness I know what they're up to, but it would be better if someone else would believe me. Looks like I'll be saving the world alone. Again.
Current Location: at home
Current Mood:  accomplished
Current Music: Seth Lakeman
Tags: eternal vigilance, snails, war and peace, writing
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03:49 pm
[Link] | Hmm... apparently, it's nine weeks since I last posted anything. Obviously, I haven't been sitting around doing very little of any interest for nine weeks, but have in fact being enjoying a thrilling, action packed life full of adventures. If only...
What I have done is proof read David Barnett's new novel, Angelglass - about angels, alchemy, John Dee, anti-globalisation and all sorts of other weirdness. It's very good and well worth a read. I felt like I was learning loads without being preached to and am now familiar with mediaeval Prague and medieaval inventions (though not with how to spell medieval or the exact whereabouts of a dictionary to check spelling). Anyway, it's very good and available through Immmanion Press should anyone else be interested.
I've also started some editing for Immanion which promises to be very interesting and enjoyable and a perfect opportunity for me to go slightly mad with Word's track changes tool. Any excuse to use as many different colours as possible.
I had planned on finishing the second draft of my own new novel by Christmas but it doesn't look like that's going to happen now given that several of my weekends have been taken up with visits from various friends and family (which I'm not complaining about). But it's still very much a work in progress and one I'm quite excited about so I'm now aiming for Easter to get the second draft finished which seems more realistic. I may yet get round to posting some extracts online.
At this time every year, I always plan to write a Christmas short story but I never get past the first line which goes something like "Someone had to stay behind to look after the sheep..." Maybe this time, I'll actually write the second line.
Found my copy of War and Peace that I'd planned to read this year. It was buried under various newspapers and magazines. I managed to reach page 68 before completely fogetting about it (impressive or what?). I think I'll make it my New Years resolution to finish it next year though the thought of it gives me a sort of sinking feeling of dread. Maybe I could get people to sponsor me to read it for charity or something - 50p for every ten pages read. I could make a fortune.
Current Location: at home
Current Mood:  happy
Current Music: Editors
Tags: reading; writing; war and peace; david b
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09:44 pm
[Link] | fio
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04:34 pm
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The Fourth Cleansing
Good news! The third Dream and A Lie book is now out. It's called The Fourth Cleansing and is available at Immanion Press and on Amazon. Like the other two books, it's narrated by Alix and follows him to Gel-Terridar. It was my favourite book to write and I think its a bit longer than the other two because I enjoyed writing it so much. I guess there's a little less of the enteri in it but, as everyone seems to love Midnight, I'm glad to say he still has a starring role. Anyway, I hope that people will read it and enjoy it.
I'm sorry that it's finished, because I keep thinking of things I could add to it or change. There are lots of enteri characters floating around in my head, that I wish I'd put in. Somehow it's easier to add them to something that already exists, than to create something new for them. But on the other hand, now its finished I can concentrate on new things and I suppose I've now got a foundation I can build on if I decide to.
So, I really need to get going on the second draft of the novel I finished a few weeks ago. After all that frenzied activity, things have slowed down a bit. I'm aiming to finish the second draft by Christmas and to have a final copy of it done next year and I did get as far as writing a synopis and doing a spot of research (labyrinths, angels, demons, poisons, spontaneous combustion, sin-eating, split personality disorders, physics and chemical warfare) so I guess I haven't been completely lazy. I guess I'll just never be one of those writers who bangs a book out every week.
I don't think I'll get a lot of writing done in the next few weeks. Next weekend is FantasyCon and I'm also getting a new bathroom put in this week which means I've spent this weekend tidying up and trying to rearrange the furniture so that the bathroom men will be able to get the new and old baths up and down the stairs (single-handedly trying to move the bookcase without taking the books out was not a good idea. I was nearly knocked out by falling books and almost crushed by the toppling bookcase. If I possessed both strength and common sense I could go far). The weekend after that, I'm planning on decorating the bathroom. So, no writing. Perhaps fantastic ideas will ferment in my mind while I'm painting, but I think it unlikely. I see it more as an opportunity to wear dodgy clothes, sing along to bad music and eat junk food (no time to cook, far too busy decorating). Actually that doesn't seem all that different to a normal weekend.
Slightly depressed that I don't seem to have read a good book for ages. I've done lots of reading but nothing has really caught my imagination and a few things I thought would be really good turned out to be disappointing. Luckily, the things that occupy most space in my house are books, so I'm not short of reading material, I just want something to get lost in.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Cherry Ghost
Tags: fourth cleansing; immanion press;writing
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03:56 pm
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Finished!!
Over the last couple of weeks, I've had a mad burst of creativity and have finally finished the first draft!! It needs a load more work done on it, but I'm pleased to say it has a middle, beginning and end so I feel like the hard work is done and now it only needs working and reworking. I didn't really expect to finish it, in fact I'd set myself a timescale of end of September for finishing the first draft, so I'm feeling a bit weird and at a loose end now but its good.
I think its a bit different from the Dream and A Lie books in that it's set in a modern world not unlike this one so there are cars and phones and the main character watches a lot of TV. But there are similarities, I suppose, in that it has a first person narrator who's a corrupt priest and there are angels and demons and a religious background to the whole thing. What I wanted to do when I started out was have a much more simple concept than my previous book and just have angels v demons and I also wanted to write from the point of view of someone who is completely shallow.
Anyway, it remains to be seen whether I'll think its any good in a fortnight, but at the moment I'm feeling quite pleased with myself.
I can only explain all this creativity by saying I bought a book about motivation because I'd got so fed up of myself sitting thinking of all the writing I was going to do, and then not doing any. I haven't actually read beyond the introduction of the book, but the very act of buying it seems to have spurred me into action. I guess there's some important point about psychology and motivation there, but I'm not sure what it is.
I've been reading Tad Williams Memory, Sorrow and Thorn Trilogy/Quartet again. I'm not really a fan of big, epic sword and sorcery fantasies, but I love those books.
No snails, spiders or ants anywhere in my house. What's going on?
Current Location: at home
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Bjork
Tags: writing
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06:47 pm
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Alix vs Harry
Now the snails have disappeared completely. Further confirmation that they are up to something...
I haven't written for a while because my life recently seems to have consisted only of work. After making so many people redundant, there's too much work to do for those of us who are left so I've been doing loads of overtime. The money will be good though the taxman takes too much of it, but I feel like I don't have Saturdays or evenings anymore and Sunday is taken up with doing all the things I normally do on a Saturday plus the boring Sunday things like housework. The upshot is that I don't seem to have done much writing lately and I don't like it.
I did manage to finish the last Harry Potter book and today on the bus to work for yet another 4 hours of tedious overtime, I started thinking about all the hype surrounding it and trying to think of ways to hype Alix as the new Harry Potter, thus making me immensely rich and, best of all, in a situation where I'd never have to sit on the bus at 7.00 on a Saturday morning going to work in a bank. Anyway, I decided that Alix and most of the other characters would need complete personality changes as their morals are somewhat skewed and there are no talking animals or friendly giants. I started to wonder if I'd change them just to make them more commercial and decided that I wouldn't - the characters in my books that are morally 'correct' are the ones that bore me most, so I think I'm just going to have to be penniless and continue at the bank (much like Alix trudging to and from his factory - if he was in this world, he'd probably work in a bank or a call centre for a pittance, so maybe the whole thing is actually a metaphor for my life though Alix is not haunted by evil snails so maybe not).
But I do think Alix could take on Harry Potter and Voldemort anyday, and Frodo and Gandalf and the rest of them (Midnight would probably have a torrid affair with Gollum or Sauron just to make Alix jealous).
Having said all that, I really enjoyed reading Harry Potter and I am impressed by the world that J K Rowling has built up in such detail and I will miss it now it's finished. Despite what I said above, I like the talking animals and I really like the giants (Hagrid's the star of the show if you ask me and I would happily read his further adventures).
Anyway, enough of Harry Potter. I'm planning to devote all of tomorrow to writing. I think I may have written a grand total of 5 pages since I last updated this, though I have proof read book three of A Dream and a Lie so I haven't been entirely lazy. I am planning on introducing the talking animals tomorrow - I think it will be a talking armadillo.
On the subject of talking animals, years ago when I was at university, I dreamt that the cartoon dog, Mutley was my dog and he went to all my classes with me and, even though he smelt bad, he was my best friend. A couple of nights ago I had the same dream, except this time it was the donkey from Shrek and he came to work with me and sat under my desk and also he wasn't a donkey, he was a dog. Suspect I may be working too hard, or perhaps some underlying anxiety, or perhaps I just want a dog (I do).
Well, I've done nothing but waffle complete nonsense here. I think it might be due to the two glasses of wine on an empty stomach - there's no food in the house as I haven't had time to buy any and I'm supposed to be 'watching my weight' (I'm avoiding using the word diet). There seems to be only wine, cakes and dry pasta in the house and something that I think used to be a cucumber but now looks more like a squished snail (I'm a bit scared of it) in the bottom of the fridge. So, must go and do something more sensible.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Seth Lakeman
Tags: a dream and a lie; harry potter; snails;
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02:30 pm
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The ant murders
It's been ages since I updated this. Things have been weird at work as we were under threat of being made of redundant. I thought I wanted to go, but when I found out I wasn't I was quite relieved. It's not a great job but the people are lovely and it saves me all the hassle and stress of finding a new one. Then again, the redundancy package would have been quite nice. The strangest thing about it was that I just wasn't worried about it which isn't really like me at all. Anyway, I daresay the same situation will crop up again in a year, so it's just not worth thinking about. From a writer's point of view, it's interesting to see how other people act in a situation like that.
I can't remember if I already wrote this as its been such a long time since I wrote anything, but I did some edits on the third part of Dream and a Lie. I'm quite pleased with it now and of the three books, it's my favourite. I'm looking forward to it coming out, if only to see what Wendy does with the cover.
I'm up to page 65 of the new book I'm working on which doesn't sound like much but it seems to have taken me weeks to get this far. I'm always pleased if I get past page 50 of something (either reading or writing) because then I feel I've committed myself to it. Though I have to say 65 pages in over six months is pretty terrible. Perhaps, when I've finished a first draft, I'll post a chapter here, though it could be years until I finish it at the rate I'm going.
Walked to a place near where I live called Willen where there's a couple of lakes, a Buddhist Peace Pagoda and a labyrinth. Everything at the second lake is dedicated to spirituality and peace and it's a really restful place to go. I walked round the labyrinth which took about an hour and must have added about two miles onto my walk. It was quite hypnotic to do and although it wasn't much of an achievement, I felt quite smug when I reached the centre - mainly because the other people who were there at the same time either gave up or cheated. I guess I was the only one to stupid enough to walk round and round it in the midday sun.
The bad thing was that while I was sitting in the centre of the labyrinth some ants must have climbed into my bag and I (unknowingly) took them home where they infested my kitchen. They were probably special Peace Ants but I'm afraid I murdered them all. The good thing is that I zapped them all with enviromentally sound ant killer (??) so at least I haven't damaged the environment too much. Am feeling major guilt about the ant deaths, but no trees or fish will have suffered as a result.
To continue the creepy crawlie theme, the snails are definitely up to something. I keep seeing them climbing up the outside walls. Plainly, they have some great plan that involves them having to go upwards. There's no food on my roof so what are they doing? Why? Probably they have some kind of signalling mechanism up there and are communicating with giant space snails who will come down and cover the world with slime and turn us all into slaves. It's lucky that I'm onto their cunning plan, not so lucky that I'm too scared of them to do anything.
Anyway, I'm writing twaddle so I'm going away now.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood:  anxious
Current Music: Bjork
Tags: writing; dream and a lie; labyrinth; ant
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08:20 pm
[Link] | Today, I think I did a really stupid and probably pointless thing - I went out and bought War and Peace. This journal may now become a long and tedious record of my attempts to get past page one (which I've read. Hooray! And understood. Hooray!). I picked it up in the shop and it was fat and heavy and just felt really pleasing somehow. I really shouldn't go into bookshops anymore as I seem incapable of leaving without buying anything. What I need now is some sort of illness that means I can't go to work, but am perfectly capable reading and several cold, wet weekends when I can stay indoors and read. I'm hoping it won't be like Crime and Punishment which I struggled through but can't remember anything about now except how much of a chore reading it was.
I really wish it was still winter as the evil snails are back. I have discovered that they can climb trees and so could easily crawl up the outside of my house and in the upstairs window and into my bedroom. It's a definite possibility and I know they are out to get me.
Anyway, as regards writing, I'm still fired up with good intentions and have rewritten a couple of chapters in the evenings this week. I'm hoping to get a biggish chunk written this weekend, if the snails don't get me first.
Current Location: at home
Tags: reading; war and peace; evil snails
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04:00 pm
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Productivity at last!
Well, the last couple of weeks have been fairly productive. I've managed to write seven chapters, albeit very short chapters, but I have a good feeling about what I've been writing and it's been occupying my attention a lot lately - been thinking about it to and from work and even at work (well, if they won't give me enough to do...). It's an idea that's been going round and round in my head in various forms and I've started and restarted it several times, but now I'm starting to think I might have hit on the one I'll actually finish.
I've also managed to do quite a bit of proofreading for Immanion Press which has been very enjoyable. It brings out my inner perfectionist, though given the slapdash nature of my typing and grammar when I'm writing and editing my own stuff, I'm slightly worried.
All this productivity means that I haven't been doing a lot of reading. I've been reading the same book for about a month - The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters by G W Dahlquist which is a big fat book and it took me a while to get into because I kept having to go back and reread bits to remind of who's who in it. But now I've passed the halfway mark, I'm really enjoying it and its starting to grip me at last. It's unusual for me to take so long to read a book and the piles of books waiting to be read are mounting up. I don't think I'll ever catch up. If I read one book a week, I have enough books to last me about 30 weeks which is probably why I never have any money. Still, I think its money well spent.
Current Location: at home
Current Mood:  productive
Current Music: Kings of Convenience
Tags: writing; reading; immanion press
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04:37 pm
[Link] | This weekend I finally sat down and did some writing - about 10 pages over two days which is half as much as I used to be able to do, but I like to think that the quality of writing is better (I'm a bit dubious about that, to be honest).
I've sussed out what the main points of the story will be and who my main character is but the main, and fairly major problem I'm having is where to set it. Originally, it was going to be set in the same world as A Dream and a Lie, but I'm already working on and off on a sequel to that. What I was working on today was setting in an alternative version of our modern world which I liked yesterday, but wasn't so sure about it today. I guess I should stop thinking about it so much and just get on with it.
Over the past couple of weekends I've been watching the Lord of the Rings. I didn't think I'd watched it many times, but it seems that I must have done because there are vast sections of it that I can quote along with the characters. I cry buckets every time I watch it and I've now got a blinding headache due to all the crying. I have now reinstated Viggo Mortensen to his rightful place as my screen saver again where he can distract me from the writing I'm supposed to be doing.
I also plucked up courage and watched The Shining. I was disappointed after reading the book which I found really scary. The film was good but it just didn't compare. I'm going to have to think of some other classic horror films to watch now because I don't think I've watched any of them. After shrieking in the cinema while watching The Village, I don't think I dare watch one in company again so I will have to make sure I have a big enough cushion to hide behind.
I'm off to my parents next week for a big family do. It's their Ruby Wedding Anniversary. My train leaves early from London so I'm staying overnight in a hotel in London. I didn't realise until I'd booked it that I'm staying in the Hotel California...
Anyway, got to go and eat all the food in the fridge before I leave on Wednesday. Life is hard sometimes.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Damien Rie
Tags: writing; a dream and a lie; lord of the
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03:07 pm
[Link] | Well, it's been far too long since I last wrote anything. My excuse this time is that I have been sort of busy(ish) with boring, petty work things which aren't even worth mentioning. Suffice to say, I've written my CV this week so perhaps the bank and I will be parting company soon. I've also been doing a spot of proof-reading for Immanion Press which I'm enjoying immensely, especially as it gives me the perfect excuse to laze around on the sofa reading all weekend.
I did have a brief writing spree in January. I was trying to write a sequel to A Dream and a Lie with Midnight as the main character. It was all going well until the storyline got too big and I felt like I'd lost control of it. Also (and I never thought I'd say this) I got a bit bored with Midnight and he started to turn into a bit of a caricature of a vampire. So I've decided to put it aside for the moment while I think it out. In thinking it out, I've had a few other ideas. The problem is in clarifying them into something that will actually work.
I've got one idea that I'm really proud of, but I don't know whether to incorporate it into my Dream and a Lie sequel or write something completely new. I like the idea of writing something set in this world, but am not sure how to make the supernatural elements work without it becoming unbelievable. Problems, problems... though very enjoyable problems to solve, especially as in attempting solve them, I've been reading a lot of trashy vampire and werewolf novels, not to mention some more Stephen King and the totally fabulous Phil Rickman. Purely, for research purposes, you understand. The enjoyment of these books has nothing to do it.
Now for a bit of shameless book plugging: I know a lot of people have had trouble getting the second Dream and a Lie book and other Immanion Press books from Amazon - I'm still waiting for an Immanion book I ordered before Christmas. Anyway, my mother ordered a copy of my book from her local WH Smith bookshop (yes, I am mean enough to allow my own family to pay full price for my book. They seem to enjoy the novelty of it) and she got her copy in about 3 weeks which is still a long time but better than 3 months. So if anyone is daft enough to want to get hold of it, they could try doing it this way instead of using Amazon.
Anyway, I should go - I've got the newspaper waiting for me and a vampire novel to read (why are the vampires always tall and lean and the heroines beautiful and feisty? Is there an Ugly Betty of the vampire world? Though not sure how the braces would work with fangs. I guess they would have to made specially, perhaps by special vampire dentists. Plainly this is an area that needs more investigation).
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Belle and Sebastien
Tags: writing; dream and a lie; immanion press
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10:27 pm
[Link] | Yet again, I've been lazy about keeping this journal up to date.
I've just had a few days at home with my parents for Christmas which was lovely and very quiet. I travelled on the overnight sleeper train and did loads of reading (which took my mind off what I'd do if the fire alarm went off and we all had to evacuate the train and what if I was the only one in my pyjamas). I've discovered a new author - Celia Friedman and it seems as if her books have only just become available in this country. I don't usually read books set on other planets but this reads more like a fantasy than sci fi - there are demons and religion and its very dark so right up my street. I've just ordered the second and third parts of the trilogy and am excited about them arriving especially as my New Years Resolution is going to be not to buy anymore books until I've read and reread the ones I had, so I had to get this order in before New Year.
I went back to work today for the first time after Christmas. It was actually quite pleasant but I think that was because most people were still on holiday and there was loads to do. The good thing is that I don't have to go in again until Tuesday now.
It's really really windy here tonight. I like hearing it howling round the house when I'm safe and warm inside, though I do worry about the tree at the back of the house when its as strong as this. Apparently, it's forecasted to be bad all weekend so I may hibernate for the next few days.
Have a good New Year. Lets hope it's peaceful, creative and prosperous and above all happy.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: cheerful
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08:43 pm
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Dreams of Drowning
I've got my copy of Dreams and Drowning now. I can't bring myself to read it yet, but I think it looks great. I love the cover and I think the different typeface makes it look easier to read. I'll probably sit down and read it eventually. I've been putting the names of all the books I have to read in a pot and pulling one out at random, so perhaps I'll add it to the pot.
I can't remember if I already said this, but I finally finished the third book in the trilogy and sent it off to Wendy, who's editing it so I'm at a bit of a loose end as regards writing. I don't know if its laziness or lack of creativity or a mixture of both, but I can't seem to get going on anything. There are lots of ideas buzzing around in my head but I think what I'm lacking is a central character who I like writing about to drive them forward. At the moment, I'm revisiting all the unfinished things I've been writing over the last few years in the hope that maybe I can tie it all together. I've got files and files of the stuff so at least it'll keep me occupied.
Dreamt that all the bears in the world declared war on everything else. Not all the bears wanted to be at war and there was a bit of a bear dictatorship going on. I don't remember the details but I woke up giggling and with the words 'isn't it funny how a bear loves hunny' running round in my head. Last time I woke up with a word going round and round in my head it was 'eviscerated' so this is definitely an improvement.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood:  lazy
Current Music: Damien Rice
Tags: dreams of drowning
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07:09 pm
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I'm back!!!
It's been ages. The good thing is that in the five weeks or however long it is since I last posted, my second book, Dreams of Drowning, came out.
I wish I could say I'd been doing something interesting and exciting since I last posted, but I haven't been. I was in Scotland for a week - I conquered my fear of flying and got a plane to Aberdeen to visit my friend Sarah. The fear isn't so much of flying but of doing something stupid at the airport and somehow ending up in one of those Airport reality TV shows screaming at the check-in staff (which would be out of character, but who knows what might happen to me if stress and TV cameras mixed?).
Had a lovely time in Aberdeen with Sarah and her two cats (and her boyfriend). She is my oldest friend. We met on the first day at university when the fire alarm went off and neither of knew where we were meant to go. It's always strange going back to Aberdeen. I lived there for a year while and I remember being very happy, but now when I go back, I'm glad I left and didn't stay. There are some lovely buildings but its cold and grey, though very lovely when the sun shines.
After Aberdeen I went to my parents via my brother's. It was my Dad's birthday so we had a family gathering. Of course I ate too much. In all the photographs I look very plump and smug, or maybe just very drunk which I wasn't.
So that's why I didn't post for one of the weeks. For another one of them, I had my parents staying with me butI don't have an excuse for the rest of them except the usual - I was waiting for something intersting to happen, I was time travelling and the same things kept repeating over and over again (get up, get bus, go to work, drink coffee, have lunch, do some more work, go home, have dinner, read, think about writing, find self stuck to sofa unable to get up to switch computer on to attempt writing, go to bed, go to sleep, dream about trains(why?) )
I guess my book coming out is interesting and exciting though. I haven't actually seen a copy yet but my sister has hers and assures me that it is real and it looks good. She bought hers through Immanion Press not Amazon which is what most people I know have done, so I guess next time I'll advise them to do it that way.
I was trying to read A Dark God Laughing while I waited for it to arrive, but I couldn't get past the first chapter without thinking of all the things I wanted to change. I had to restrain myself from getting out a red pen and correcting it. I guess I'll never be able to look at it impartially, but I wish I could see it as other people do.
One thing I have done is work at the third part to the extent that its just about in a state where I think I can send it to Wendy for editing and constructive criticism. All I need to do are the boring things like number the chapters and spell-check it. I'm pretty proud of it now.
Finished reading The Shining after chickening out of watching the film. I quite enjoyed it and didn't get too freaked out. I'm having a minor Stephen King phase at the moment which is good because he's written loads of books and I've only read about 4 of them (loved The Stand, and the one he wrote with Peter Straub whose name I've forgotten, not so keen on Pet Cemetery or It).
It's winter now. The hideous flesh eating insects and spiders have all frozen to death. Ha ha ha...
Current Location: At home
Current Music: Drugstore
Tags: dreams of drowning; immanion press
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08:40 pm
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Nothing in particular
It's been a while since I wrote anything. I used to keep a diary every day when I was younger, but maybe life is just more interesting when you're fifteen.
I'm getting excited about Dreams of Drowning coming out soon. A few people I know have preordered their copy which is nice of them as I don't think it's the sort of thing that they'd usually read. Perhaps when the third part comes out, I'll have a big party to thank all these people. Then again, as I'm becoming more and more reclusive, it seems unlikely that I'd ever do something like that.
I had a creative weekend for the first time in ages. I did a little work on the third Dream and Lie book and wrote about ten pages for the new novel I'm trying to write. I think I'll probably scrap most of it, but it still felt like I was getting somewhere. I also decided that I'd change the narrative from first person to third person and got very excited about all the changes in viewpoint that would entail. I also want to write some short stories based around this novel as I think they might help me clarify my thoughts about it. I think I'll have to do some research into alchemy and angels/demons before too long as well, but perhaps I'll try and get the first draft down first. I've got the books but I just haven't read them.
I'm currently reading "Special Topics in Calamity Physics" by Marisha Pessl which has had loads of hype here. I bought it because it was described as being like Donna Tartt, but so far I'm alternating between extreme irritation with it and thinking that maybe it's quite good but I just don't get it. At the same time, I'm quite enjoying it, if that contradiction makes sense. After that, I've got The Shining by Stephen King to read and I'm really looking forward to starting it. I really want to watch the film but I'm too scared (a bit of a lightweight when it comes to horror films) so I thought I'd read the book.
The good news is, that the house appears to be spider free (where have they all gone so suddenly? What do they know that we don't?). There was an incident with a daddy-long-legs but I coped admirably in comparison to all the spider and moth fiascos.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Seth Lakeman
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02:20 pm
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Hols
I've just had three days off work which has been great although I haven't done half of the things I intended to do. On Wednesday, I went to Cambridge for the day. It's one of my favourite places and when I imagine the city of Haith from my book, I imagine it looking a bit like Cambridge. I think its the fact that I've only ever been there in the summertime and the old university buildings are sandstone so they have a warm, golden sort of glow. And everyone looks happy and wealthy as well. Having said that, I like visiting, but I'm not sure I'd actually want to live there. I went a bit mad in the bookshops and I think I've now got more books to read than I'll ever find time for. Buying books seems to be a sort of addiction - I know I've got plenty to read,I know the last thing I need is another book, but I still can't help buying more.
Thursday, I devoted to writing. I started going through my draft of the third Dream and a Lie book a few weeks ago and finished it on Thursday. I'm quite pleased with it and I rewrote a chunk of it which I hadn't been happy with before and now I'm really pleased with how that bit turned out. There's just one bit left that's really bothering me. I keep going back to it and seeing all the reasons why it doesn't work but no matter how I try, I can't think of a solution to it. It's starting to really bother me because usually when I set my mind to it, I can sort these things out, but I just can't think of how to change this bit or fix it. Anyway, I've decided to put it aside for a couple of weeks and hope that an answer will come to me when I least expect it.
On Friday, I had a real girlie sort of day. I met a friend for a long lunch and then went to the hairdressers. I hate going to the hairdressers and I don't go as often as you're supposed to which just makes it worse when I do go. I never know what I want them to do and always feel like a bit of a failure as a woman. Luckily, I've been seeing the same hairdresser for so long we have a sort of understanding - she just does the same thing she always does and neither of us talks to the other. I think she's actually more shy than I am and welcomes the chance just to get on with it without having to make small talk. At least I hope that's what is. Otherwise we're both just rude to one another.
I watched a programme about End Time Believers last night which was interesting and scarey if any of it is true. Basically, because they believe they're all going to go up to heaven in the Rapture, they're trying to bring it about more quickly which means they're doing what they can to encourage war in the Middle East (some of them are apparently very wealthy and influential). They think that the UN is the anti-christ and they don't care about the environment either - why should they when the world's about to end and they're all going to heaven leaving the rest of us behind? Apart from being utterly ridiculous, it all seemed very selfish and unchristian to me and completely alien to what my understanding of christianity or any religion is about. I had to restrain myself from shouting at the TV at one point.
The spider situation gets worse. On Tuesday night I was closing the curtains for bed and a monster spider must have fallen off the curtains onto the bed. I went downstairs to get a glass to trap it in and when I came back up it had just vanished completely. It wasn't in the bed or under it or anywhere I could see. I didn't sleep well that night. I felt a bit like Frodo Baggins. Then on Friday night I was lying on the sofa drinking wine and watching a DVD of Narnia when I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and there was one right beside my face. If I'd breathed in, I'd have inhaled it. It was huge (I suspect its the same one that was on my bed). I've never moved so fast in my life. One minute I was horizontal, the next I was at the other side of the room clutching my wine glass. I was impressed that I managed to leap to my feet and run without spilling a drop. Plainly I'm a pro when it comes to alcohol conservation. By throwing random objects at it, I managed to drive it into the cupboard under the stairs - out of sight and out of mind until it crops up again, which I'm sure it will. Problems, problems. But the good thing is that I'm never troubled by flies.
I have to say that the spider incident was probably the most interesting and enjoyable thing about the film (too many children and talking animals, but then what did I expect?).
Back to work tomorrow unfortunately. I could get used to this life of leisure.
Current Location: At home
Current Mood:  calm
Tags: writing; spiders; cambridge; end time
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07:05 pm
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Dreams of Drowning
Well, I forgot my password again!! I'm plainly too stupid to be entrusted with any sort of technology.
Dreams of Drowning, the second Dream and Lie book now has a cover. It looks fantastic - quite dark but sort of dreamy at the same time. I'm really pleased with it. If anyone's interested, you can see it on my website at www.metrogirl.com/mcgavin or at immanion-press.com. I think you can also pre-order it. The cover is by Wendy Darling and is a photograph of the Duoma Cathedral in Milan. I guess she's done some clever stuff with it to make it look so otherworldly. She's very talented!
It's getting quite exciting now and I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of it. Without giving anything away its a continuation of Alix's story and he's the narrator again. As well as continuing the story, it also goes into his past and Midnight's.
Meanwhile, everything else trundles on as normal. The most exciting thing to happen today was a power cut at work which meant that we couldn't do any work (hooray). Unfortunately, it only lasted half an hour. Last time we had one, the whole company got sent home except for my team as we're apparently business critical. Plainly, the heady world of mortgage finance couldn't survive without me.
The other thing I did today was visit the bookshop - the first time in ages. I spent almost an hour in there and bought a book about alchemy and mysticism in the sale. It has many illustrations, so I can already I'm going to do better with it than I am with the Holy Grail (still haven't found it, but have time off work next week, so will have time to have a good search. It's probably in one of the boxes in the attic).
Having had moth trouble, I now have spider problems. I had an enormous one in the bath and carefully removed it and put it out in the garden. Not ten minutes later, I was in the bathroom and there was another one exactly the same in the bath! I carefully evicted it and the same thing happened again. And again!!! I'm sure there's a big group of spiders somewhere all falling about laughing at me, or else my bath is the equivalent of the Holy Grail for spiders. However, if it happens again I'll be getting the vacuum out... then we'll see who's laughing (or just feeling very very guilty).
Anyway, must go - got wine to drink and trash to watch on TV (no wonder no writing gets done).
Current Location: At home
Current Mood: happy
Tags: dreams of drowning: a dream and a lie; i
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02:13 pm
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The missing fortnight
Well, it's been a while since I posted here. I kept hoping something interesting might happen, but it didn't (does it ever?) and then I forgot my password and had to search around looking for the tiny piece of paper where I'd written it down at which point, I realised how many other tiny bits of paper I have lying around with indecipherable messages and lists written on them which spurred on a cleaning frenzy from which I'm only just recovering (it doesn't happen often).
I'm not even sure what I've been doing for the last few weeks - it certainly hasn't been writing. I seem to have a missing fortnight in my life that I'm just not able to account for. I wish I could say that I'd been abducted by aliens or taken away by elves but all the evidence seems to suggest that I've just been on auto-pilot.
I know I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean (disappointing, I thought, even Johnny Depp), finally bought a new DVD player and had a cold.
Another weird thing about this missing fortnight, is that I seem to have bought an awful lot of newspapers and yet I still don't have a clue what's going on in the world.
However, I think I'm back in the land of the living, as today I changed all the calenders to September (only 3 days late - not bad) and have vowed that September will be the month when I do lots of writing, finish reading the dull but interesting book about the Holy Grail (and also find Holy Grail, if I have time) and stop being so reclusive. Also, I am upgrading to broadband - could my life be anymore exciting? I will be a fulfilled, enlightened, technologically updated social butterfly!
Current Location: At home
Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: Nick Cave
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